t_verano: (flowers-1)
[personal profile] t_verano
-- the regular kind of Make A Wish candle, okay? not the explodey kind (I suspect Steve is off in the corner somewhere pouting...).

A small birthday giftlet for [livejournal.com profile] janedavitt, who's been one of my dearest friends (and who's graciously put up with a lot of insanity from me) over the past five and a half years or so. Happy Birthday, Jane! I hope you have The Most Excellent Birthday Ever!

Title: Inside
Fandom: H50
Length: ~2,200 words
Rating: R
Pairing: Steve/Danny (slash)

Steve just wants Danny to be happy.

Fic, with love:
Inside


It's dark when Steve gets home. The house is quiet, as quiet as an old frame house on a beach ever gets, quiet enough that he can hear the tick of the old clock in his dad's study as soon as he steps through the kitchen door.

He's gotten used to the quiet, mostly. Used to the dark, too, and he doesn't bother with a light; there's enough of a moon to brighten the windows, and anyway, he's not staying inside. Not yet. Not tonight.

He grabs the small cooler from the cabinet under the sink by feel, then pulls a six-pack from the fridge and heads out to the lanai, pausing to kick off his boots and slide off his socks before he makes his way down to the beach and the pair of weathered deck chairs that sit close together just above the high tide mark.

He almost crossed a line tonight. He can hear Danny now, because it wouldn't have been just any line — according to Danny he's already crossed almost every line known to civilized human beings anyway — but this line.... Yeah, he can hear Danny now: That's just creepy, Steven. You are a creepy man. I fear for your mental health.

Steve pulls a Longboard out of the cooler and rests the bottle against his cheek. From the way the cold glass feels so good against his skin, his face is probably as flushed as some of Kamekona's creatively cooked shrimp. Would it have been that creepy to have driven by the restaurant? Just once? One quick glance in the window — he knew Danny had reserved one of the tables that had a view of the beach just across the street — wouldn't one quick glance have been okay?

Not that he can't picture perfectly clearly what he would've seen: Danny and Grace and Gabby talking and laughing together, vivid even in the restaurant's too-low, too-romantic lighting.

Funny how just imagining something can sometimes make you feel it just as much as if you'd really been there and had actually seen it. Steve swallows half his Longboard in one determined go, licks a little stray beer from the corner of his lips, and sighs.

At least he's still got his dignity. Never mind that the birthday lunch he and Chin Ho and Kono had taken Danny out for hadn't been enough, and he'd poked and prodded at Danny until he got him to reveal his evening's plans. In the end, he hadn't crossed that line, even if he'd spent too much time thinking about it; he'd left Danny to his women, to the things that make Danny happy.

Danny deserves to be happy.

Steve's not so far gone in self-pity that he doesn't notice the quiet growl of the Camaro's engine as Danny's car pulls into his driveway, or the rustle of grass as Danny circles the house and crosses the lawn behind him. But he can't think of a single thing to say, even when Danny's "Figured I'd find you out here" is followed by Danny picking up the cooler from the seat of the other chair and dropping his ass down in its place.

Out of the corner of his eye he watches as Danny toes off his shoes and wiggles his feet out of his socks, loosens his tie, rolls up his shirt sleeves. His suit jacket is MIA, which is fine by Steve; Danny has nice forearms, he keeps in great shape, and the light from the moon is turning the hair on his arms almost silver. Steve really, really wants to just —

Get himself under control. Yeah, that.

He finally gets his mouth into some sort of gear. "Why aren't you out celebrating your birthday, D? The night's still young."

Danny shrugs. "Who says I'm not?"

"Ah," Steve says, because he's really got nothing else he feels safe in going with here, not with Danny sitting only inches away, with Danny here when he's supposed to be somewhere else, making cow eyes at his sweet, sexy museum director. He plants his Longboard in the sand and stands more quickly than he means to, moves a few steps closer to the water. Away from Danny.

Who's here, after the kind of romantic evening out you have that's supposed to end up with you at her place or her at yours; unwrapping birthday presents, if you want to call it that. Steve can hear Danny calling it that, can see Danny waggling his eyebrows, right before his eyes get serious. Before he and Gabrielle get serious....

Danny's sitting there saying nothing at all, Steve suddenly realizes, and he clears his throat. "Grace back at Rachel's?" It's lame, since he knows Grace's evening-out privileges expired at 9:00 PM sharp. He's just filling the silence.

Danny sounds amused."Yes, and Gabby is back at Gabby's."

Danny's amused by that? "That makes you happy?" Steve asks, feeling his way. Except — "How can that make you happy? Gabby makes you happy. I thought. Doesn't she?"

"Yes. Yes, she does." Fabric rustles behind Steve and then Danny's beside him, his arm brushing against Steve's. "You, on the other hand, make me crazy." Danny rubs a hand over the nape of his neck and heaves a sigh that seems to have originated in his kneecaps, it sounds so deep-felt. "It's a dilemma."

"It's a.... Excuse me?" That makes no sense. "What's a dilemma?"

Danny chuckles, but he doesn't sound all that amused anymore. "By the way, thanks for the champagne. The sparkling apple juice for Grace was also a nice touch. She loved it."

There's a strange edge in Danny's voice. Steve doesn't have any idea what to do with it, so he keeps his mouth shut.

"You think I don't know it was you? Babe, you seriously overestimate your subtlety." The edge in Danny's voice seems sharper.

"It seemed like a nice idea. That's all." Steve's aware that he's sounding defensive, and maybe a little pissed off, but what the hell? Setting up some Cristal to be served compliments of the house at a birthday celebration — what's so wrong with that?

Danny's voice lowers, softens a little. He bumps his hip against Steve's and sighs. "Oh, it was a nice idea, all right. What the fuck am I supposed to do with you, McGarrett?"

Steve closes his eyes. Danny's hip is still pressed against him, and God, that feels good — but Danny, Danny needs to be happy, with kids and his own home. With a fucking harem, if he wants; Gabby and Rachel, and the news anchor on KITV, Whatshername, why not, Danny gets half hard every time the news comes on —

"Tell me, huh?" Danny says, with another hip check that makes Steve clamp his teeth down hard on his lower lip. "Tell me what I'm supposed to do with you."

"I don't know, Danny. Put up with me, I guess." He means it to come out easy, a joke, but Danny's relaxed stance suddenly goes tense.

Then Danny moves. Away. "In case you haven't noticed, I already do that, you jerk."

"What is your problem?" Steve snaps that out too fast, too cold, but he misses Danny's warmth next to him, and why Danny's getting so bent out of shape over a bottle of champagne and a couple of glasses of apple juice is beyond him. He hadn't barged in on Danny's date with Gabby. He hadn't even let himself —

"My problem?" Danny's back and standing in front of Steve now, right in Steve's face, practically vibrating. "My problem is that you make me crazy. Didn't I already say that? Were you not listening?"

He's got a finger jabbing at Steve's chest and he knows better, Danny knows better than that, so Steve doesn't feel any guilt about immobilizing that jabbing hand. But it's Danny's birthday, so he uses an easy hold, one that just wraps his hand around Danny's and stills it without doing anything more.

He's practically vibrating now too. There are buttons even Danny shouldn't push.

Danny looks down at Steve's hand, but he doesn't pull away, "I put up with you, asshole, I think it's time I got some perks. And it is my birthday. That should count for something."

He tilts his head back and looks at Steve with his eyes half closed. The moonlight isn't bright enough to show Steve more than that, to let him read the expression on Danny's face, and he doesn't know what Danny wants here. Doesn't know what to give him.

Except that Danny's free hand has moved up to Steve's shoulder, is gliding over the thin cotton of Steve's T-shirt towards the side of Steve's throat, and Steve can't quite stop his breath from catching audibly.

"Yeah, yeah," Danny murmurs, as if to himself, "I thought so." His thumb rubs along the line of Steve's jaw, and Steve doesn't have to worry about his breath catching so revealingly any longer, since he's fucking stopped breathing at all.

Then Danny's hand moves on until his palm is cupping the back of Steve's neck. "See," he says, still a murmur, and Steve can barely hear him over the thrum of blood singing in his ears, "you see, Steven, I like happy, I do. But maybe I like crazy even more. Which is totally your fault, you realize. Overexposure."

Then Danny's hand is tugging Steve's head down for a kiss that would've been better — and a lot longer — if Steve had remembered to get at least some air back in his lungs before they started it, and Danny is groaning and dropping his head to bang his forehead against Steve's shoulder.

"Some SEAL you are. How'd you get through BUD/S anyway, if you can't hold your breath longer than that?" Then he's trying to pull the hand Steve's still got trapped between them out of Steve's grip, and Steve has to dig deep to make his fingers uncurl enough to let Danny go, even though he knows Danny's not going far.

Not tonight. "Inside," he offers, because Danny hates sand.

Because he wants Danny in his house, for this. For whatever it is that Danny wants this to be.

Because he pretty much wants Danny in his house always.

A shiver runs through Danny's body. Steve sees it; can almost feel it, Danny's still close enough. "What?" Steve says, feeling cold again: maybe Danny doesn't want —

"You. That.... You." Danny stops there, seems to think that's an answer. He's got his eyes closed, and his fists are clenched, and no, that's not really working for Steve as any kind of answer.

"What, Danny?" Danny's changed his mind. Or maybe that's all he wanted: one kiss, an experiment. Steve feels like shivering himself, feels like crossing his arms over his chest and shutting all this out.

"Voice. Your voice."

That's not enough of an answer either. Steve's throat feels raw deep down, yeah, the way it does when his voice has dropped to its lowest register and scraped around a little before it can make its way out, but Danny still isn't telling Steve what he needs — needs — to know.

Danny plants his palms flat against Steve's chest and pushes Steve backwards.

Crowds Steve, and gives him another push.

And just like that, Danny's Danny again, talking. "Inside, the man says, a very sensible suggestion, and now all he can do is stand around like some kind of giant vocabulary-challenged statue that keeps saying 'What'?"

Another push. "In. Side. You and me. We'll get there faster if we don't just stand here and wait for tectonic plate movement to shift the house over to us, I promise."

Inside.

"Tectonic.... Danny," Steve says, planting his feet firmly and ignoring Danny's next push. He's got plenty of breath back in his lungs now, and the house won't mind waiting a few more minutes for Danny to fill it. He drops his head, angling his mouth towards Danny's lips. "Happy birthday," he manages to mutter just before his lips meet Danny's.

This time the kiss is good.

The kiss is fine.

The kiss is better than fine. It's fierce and tender, it's fuck you and fuck, yes; it's Danny.

"'Happy birthday', huh?" Danny says breathlessly, after Steve's kiss turns into Danny's kiss, and Danny's kiss turns into a string of kisses both of them try to claim until Danny pulls back just enough to give Steve another push towards the house. "You mean that, you won't make me unwrap the rest of my birthday present outside. On a beach. With sand. And flying biting things." He waggles his eyebrows.

Just like Steve knew he would. "I think you're overestimating your subtlety there, Danno," Steve says. He has the feeling he's grinning like he's completely lolo and he doesn't care.

Danny shakes his head. "Inside," he says. He's smiling too, but his voice is as serious as Steve's ever heard it. "Inside, babe. Now. Unwrapping."

Right. Danny's right, Danny's —

"I'm always right," Danny says.

Steve doesn't argue. Not tonight; it's Danny's birthday, after all.
 
 

Date: 2012-05-07 12:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] janedavitt.livejournal.com
Eeee! Fic! For me! From T!

::snuggles you::

This is so raw and desperate and a little ache-y and then it all gets wonderfully, perfectly right... love it!

Thank you so much, T ::hugs you::

Date: 2012-05-08 11:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] t-verano.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you enjoyed it -- I wanted to do something birthdayish for you, although I'm not sure this jelled quite right; writing's being sort of standoffish at the moment, though (of course it is, just when I want it not to be -- and how many 'ish' words can I pack into one sentence? pffft).

Hope you had the bestest of days. I know I'm letting the side down a lot about keeping in touch, but I think about you tons even when I'm not around saying much.

*smooshes you, hoping you're buried to the eyeballs in day-after unwrapped-presents-paper and leftover cake crumbs and post-party euphoric lassitude*

Date: 2012-05-07 02:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kristen999.livejournal.com
Oh, wow. This was so, so good. I love the similarities beteen Steve's loneliness and the quiet house and beach. I love Steve's caution around Danny and just the little bits of raw emotion. Danny touching Steve's nape, the internal shivers and the slow boil of the whole situation. Sweet and kind of hurty that ends happily!

Date: 2012-05-08 12:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] t-verano.livejournal.com
Ah, thanks! I'm so glad you enjoyed it -- RL's amped itself up a couple of notches recently and I'm not sure I can see straight to have anything I try to write come out right right now (okay, that was a fun phrase to type :-)). But I love these guys so much... I'm really glad it worked okay; at this point I can't tell if I wrote it upside down and backwards or not. *eyes RL sadly*

But but but -- I stole an hour and just now watched ep 22 on cbs.com -- I'm don't know if you've seen it yet, so I don't want to be spoilery, but OH OH OH

Date: 2012-05-08 03:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] polly-b.livejournal.com
This is the most brilliant line of the week (and it's so Danny):

We'll get there faster if we don't just stand here and wait for tectonic plate movement to shift the house over to us, I promise.

You tell such a complete story for it to only be 2K-and-change worth of words.

Date: 2012-05-08 12:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] t-verano.livejournal.com
Eee! You're a 5-0 fan too? I feel almost alone in my 5-0ness on my flist. (Which, btw, howdy friend. :-) I'm having a rotten time keeping up just with LJ of late so I don't get to look in on DW very often, but I live in hope that someday I'll organize myself and get all crossposty and bi-journal and everything. :-))

I'm so glad you enjoyed the ficlet, thank you! (Danny's the funnest guy to write ever, I think.) I so love that you felt this told a complete story -- that's my favorite thing when I read short fic, for the fic to give me that feeling, and I never know if I pull it off even part of the way when I write something short.

Thanks again!

Date: 2012-05-08 12:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] polly-b.livejournal.com
I'm strictly a reader and lurker when it comes to 5-0, but I enjoy the fic more than the canon. *shrugs*

And, you're welcome! Good to see you writing!

Date: 2012-05-08 12:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] t-verano.livejournal.com
I haven't seen season 1 of 5-0 except for clips here and there, but from what I've watched this season, I consider canon to exist primarily to provide moments such as "Put your pants on, we're going to work" and "I'll think about you the whole time." I love the characters -- find A0'L detrimental to my sanity (in the best ways possible) -- and have to agree with you; there are many (many) fanfic writers who've gotten it *way* more right than the screenwriters and TPTB with their assorted wtf decisions.

Date: 2012-05-08 01:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aprilvalentine.livejournal.com
it's fuck you and fuck, yes; it's Danny.

Wow... in this nicely gut-grabby story, that line grabbed my gut the most.

Lovely story!
Edited Date: 2012-05-08 01:31 pm (UTC)

Date: 2012-05-10 10:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] t-verano.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I love that this story (and that line!) worked so well for you -- and boy, do I love that these guys are never going to be not about push and pull at the same time, are never going to stop pushing each other's buttons. *happy sigh*

Thank you again, for reading & for the lovely comment!

Date: 2012-05-08 06:34 pm (UTC)
tabaqui: (hawaii5o)
From: [personal profile] tabaqui
Ooooh, that was delightful. Sweet and fun and a little hurty and, in the end, just *right*. :)

Date: 2012-05-10 10:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] t-verano.livejournal.com
I'm so happy that the fic worked so well for you! I was hoping more on the level of the fic turning out reasonably okay / reasonably workable for people -- 'delightful' is making me beam like crazy. :-)

Thank you so very much for reading and for the lovely comment!

Date: 2012-05-08 09:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] finduilas-clln.livejournal.com
alskladzkjalmdkjaled!!! SO GOOD. Such a perfect fic!!

Date: 2012-05-10 10:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] t-verano.livejournal.com
*blushes tons* You're extremely kind -- thank you! I was pretty much just hoping for the fic to not totally suck; that it worked so well for you has me beaming like crazy. :-)

Date: 2012-05-08 10:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] simplyn2deep.livejournal.com
aww what a great fic!

Date: 2012-05-10 10:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] t-verano.livejournal.com
I'm very glad you enjoyed the fic -- thank you so much for reading, and for letting me know you liked it!

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